Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
