This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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