I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
