id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
