i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
