You really coming over, don't trick.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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