It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
