just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he thought i was a dude.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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