I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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