dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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