half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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