I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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