Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Randomize
