Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize