we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
