Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
