She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
