How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
