how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
How external is "for external use only"?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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