I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
