I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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