I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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