i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Buhtt sex?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
