haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
