Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
