Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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