Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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