I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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