Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
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