chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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