The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
