i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize