I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
