Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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