I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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