cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
