I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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