69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
