Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
