The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
