It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
