If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Drunk is not a location!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
