wanna go halves on a baby?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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