I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
