I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
We smell like vodka and hangover
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
