you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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