All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
COCAINE IS GR8
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
