Where is the hickey?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
