yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
At least life still wants to fuck me.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I would fuck him just for his dog
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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