Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
