Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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