I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
