i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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