come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
