I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
