honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
