these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
