the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
