You can't motorboat a personality
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
