My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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