First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Randomize
