Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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