Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
