Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just want nice things and good sex
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
